It may sound like a contradiction, but you need to combine saying ‘No’ with the ‘Yes, And’ skill if you really want to achieve your big dream.
A 'no' uttered from the deepest conviction is better than a 'yes' merely uttered to please, or worse, to avoid trouble. - Mahatma Gandhi
NO is also okay
Do I need to change my life now?
NO! Do a kind of emotional check to gauge if you’re happy or unhappy with your life. If the balance is towards the happy side, keep on doing what you do. Only change the (parts of) your life where you are no longer satisfied with the current situation.
Will change be easy?
NO! Change is not easy. It’s f*cking hard work. If it were easy, then everybody would already have changed their bad habits.
Should I always say ‘Yes, And’?
NO! 95% of the time, use your logical thinking and common sense. Only use ‘Yes, And’ if you want to change something, and need some creative ideas.
Do I need to be happy all the time?
NO! Life has its ups and downs. Happiness is an emotion and emotions are not stable: they come and go. Allow the emotions that are present at this moment. Happiness is not a mathematical equation. Focus on what’s meaningful for you instead of pursuing happiness.
Am I a real, unique person in this world?
NO! There are probably thousands (maybe millions) of people who have similar skills to you, and there’s a good chance that a lot of them are better than you. If everybody were extraordinary, this would immediately mean that nobody is extraordinary. Most of your actions will be ‘boring’ and unnoteworthy, but that’s totally okay. We always think that we need to be extraordinary to live a great life, but if you appreciate the small things in life - the things you already have -, you already have a lot that matters.
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